Wednesday, 31 March 2010
If Fridge Soup is anything to go by , the consumption of chocolate over the next few days will render us all senseless . So it's good to know that help is at hand . Next week , when biliousness threatens to overcome one , remember Harold Begbie's uplifting little song , meant for just such moments :
"If I Want To Be Happy" .
"If I want to be happy and quick on my toes ,
I must bite my food slowly and breathe through my nose ;
I must press back my shoulders and hold up my head ,
And not close my window when going to bed .
I must soap my bath flannel , and scrub all I know ;
I must then take a towel and rub till I glow ;
I must never be idle and loll in my chair ,
Or shout like a demon and act like a bear .
I must play and not fidget , read books and not flop ;
Begin with a purpose and know when to stop
I must love what is noble , and do what is kind ;
I must strengthen my body and tidy my mind ;
Yes , if I would be healthy and free from all cares ,
I must do all I've told you and mean all my prayers .
And , on a completely different note , I was pleased to see that the renovation of Amsterdam's lovely Vondelpark is nearly complete . A short walk from the busy center , it is an essential part of daily life . Youngest daughter holds her birthday parties there with large picnics and much laughter . When she lived round the corner in a tiny attic , she'd sleep there on breathless summer nights , along with half the neighbourhood . In true Amsterdam style anything goes , so knockabout football games are catered for with a large area where special plastic "grass" fibres are woven through the turf . This is now known locally as the Vondelpark Hair Extension " .
No wonder my heart's in good shape!!
Hope yours is too and have a very happy Easter break, egg break that is, with plenty of down time and happy moments.
Sunday, 28 March 2010
You didn't know your beautiful blogged prose and artistic photographs would elicit such a warm and imaginative response, did you? Here is a small section of what I received after one blog post, and translated into something quite odd:
In translation, it's hardly enough to shock the vicar, but I worry about viruses and spam, and as I type, am beginning to worry about you lot too, as you do seem to love a slightly naughty topic! Toot toot!female entertainer - sexual affection chatroom - color younger sister pastes the picture area - sexual affection movie The sentiment color sexual affection pastes the chart - sexual affection autodyne - sexual affection to paste the chart - sexual affection posture - sexual affection picture - toot toot sentiment color adult net
Same goes for cream cheese, cinnamon, maple syrup.
But all of those for breakfast?
Thinking of these breakfast items, I can feel the sugar-high headache, and the need for a 9am nap.
Friendly Restaurants' marketing people must have found that there's a market for these breakfast dishes, and they're probably right. Everywhere in this country (or perhaps just this region, since I think Friendly's is not nationwide) there are families with small children who crave sugar-stoking, and whose parents will just want the kids to stop whining, and so they will travel off for Sunday brunches of ice cream between maple-syrup-drowned sugary waffles buttered and coated with cinnamon cream cheese.
Thoughts of the dyspeptic sugar-charged children...
I feel a headache and a 9am nap coming on.
Saturday, 27 March 2010
Friday, 26 March 2010
Climate 'deniers' accuse journal of censorship - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)
Reckon this one will run and run?
Then I realised how silly that sounded.
Life is just one big puzzle to me. Somebody help.
Literal translation of (excerpts of) the accompanying French text:
An END to groping and ruining your eyesight!
NO MORE multiple manipulations trying to get to Mission Impossible!
ONE GESTURE is sufficient for almost anything! (Editor’s note: with the exception of Mission Impossible, perhaps)
NO MORE risk of self-deception due to microscopic touches.
ABANDON yourself to a prepaid card: all you need is to slip it in.
Thursday, 25 March 2010
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Monday, 22 March 2010
Sunday, 21 March 2010
Imagine the effort it took to dress up like this. There are so many forms of self-expression, but clothing is one of riskiest, especially in a grey city like ours. (as seen in the man passing by with the stroller)
Forget wearing purple. When I'm an old woman I'm going to wear striped stockings and a red tam.
Think "Lime and lemon curd would be nice!"
Buy lemons and one lime.
Make curd according to favourite recipe (thank you, Delia).
Notice that recipe-adaptation lime has been totally forgotten.
Think "Lime and lemon curd would be nice!"
Repeat ad nauseam.
Friday, 19 March 2010
Listen up, all you writers! I’ve just heard/read the best quote ever about that feeling that washes over us when we’ve written something we really, really like.
Courtesy of Judith Mercado who can usually be found at http://judithmercadoauthor.blogspot.com
‘I’ve just made love to my writing and am basking in the afterglow’
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
So there you go, scary hey?
'Come to the edge'
'It is too high'
'Come to the edge'
'We might fall'
'Come to the edge'
And they came
And he pushed them
And they flew
On this day in 1918, the French poet, Guillaume Apollinaire was wounded in the head by a shell splinter
(subsequently dying in the influenza epidemic on November 9th, 1918).
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
The recently introduced greeting on the Yahoo opening page , when one wants to check one's emails , is disquieting .
"Hello __ . What are you doing now ? ", prompts a paranoid , "Why do you want to know ? "
Oh , and I nearly forgot . I'm suddenly smitten with Tarik Lamirat . Do listen to his marvellous version of La Foule ( Youtube ) . Even Edith Piaf diehards will be humming along .
Monday, 15 March 2010
Sunday, 14 March 2010
From The Virtual Linguist, March 10, 2010
I had a good time emailing that list to several people. Only two, linguaphiles like myself (and the rest of you), responded. One of my respondents is a server in a chain restaurant, and says that she sometimes offers her guests "ante-jenticular orange juice," and when asked for explanation, says it's the opposite of post-prandial. She notes that "You have to pick the right guest..."
The only word on that list that I imagine myself using, ever, is the last, surrounded and controlled as I am by snollygosters.
Friday, 12 March 2010
Thursday, 11 March 2010
While there, she found that her wind-up torch had run out of battery power, so she packed it away and had to do without light in her tent for the whole of her stay. Only after she got home did she remember why she'd invested in a wind up torch.....
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. She has said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
Sunday, 7 March 2010
Will wonders never cease? Who'd a thought?
My friend went to the local grave side, taking loving thoughts, memories and some flowers.When she arrived there she was greeted by a beautiful array of white carnations, placed by an unknown 'caller'. She was very touched and pleased that someone else had also remembered this particular date.
This came as such a touching gift, especially as my friend had lost her original order of service and at such a sensitive time of rememberance.
Saturday, 6 March 2010
to some special kind of day.
But with two eyes always facing front
forwards is the only way.
To look back we must turn around
and needs must stop a while,
before we end up tripping,
and landing on our smile.
If we had eyes behind our heads,
We’d not know where we’re going,
But only some place where we’d been
would be the one that’s showing.
We’d never catch up with ourselves
and life would be a bore,
because we’d never recognise
some place we’d been before.
Photography the democratic process.......
Friday, 5 March 2010
Here in France, people speak French.
And write in French.
And, very cleverly, read it too.
I do all of the above,
the outcome of each of these activities depends substantially on the topic, what’s in my glass and how readily my linguistic synapses snap to attention.
But I will not be working on my building up my French reading skills any time soon, as I must first get through the 49 English books that jumped off the table this morning at a second-hand book sale yelling, ‘Pick me!! Pick me!!’
Thursday, 4 March 2010
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
So there you have it Geeks and Nerds, all explaining in a neat package!
Monday, 1 March 2010
I’ve never been a fan of a game where the players have to suit themselves up like the Michelin man just so they can get off the ice alive.
But last night’s match between Canada and the USA, in Olympic City, formerly known as Vancouver? I just wish I’d been there, although the last minute price for a seat to put your bum was rumoured to be in the region of $60,000!
That hockey game now means that Canada has more gold medals than any other country has ever won in the Olympics. It also means that I will allow myself a day or two to be thoroughly un-Canadian in my flag-waving, chest-beating, full-throated patriotism.
O Canada, our home and native land
True patriot love in all thy sons command
With glowing hearts we see thee rise, the true North strong and free
From far and wide, O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee…
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.