Last and Definitely Least

Until recently the priorities in my husband’s life were:

1. his woman business partner
2. the cat
3. the dog
4. our daughter
5. my mother
6. me

He has now gone off with his business partner.


‘This England’ - letter to the Daily Mirror

Seems A Bit Harsh ...

As one young gymnast finished her routine on the beam at tonight's  World Championships  , the BBC Three commentator clucked  ,
"Oh , a few errors there . She'll be decimated . "
!

A snip at twice the price:

Amazon made me an unmissable offer today, a pack of black ink cartridges reduced from ten thousand pounds to £10. Now that’s what I call a bargain! Should I take them up on it?

HP 300 Black Ink Cartridge by Hewlett Packard   RRP: £10,000.00 Price: £10.00 You Save: £9,990.00 (100%)

Clear As Mud

The man from the Ministry in Edinburgh confessed yesterday that it was a ‘gritty problem’. He added:” We have not been able to make great progress. I can tell you, though, that we are at the moment stirring it up a bit. We are taking stock of the situation, but since we haven’t yet taken stock, I cannot say, of course, what we have taken stock of.” It was, he said, “an urgent thing that we should want to see done, but on the longer term basis of urgency.”


Source: 'This England'

What A Lot Of Rubbish

Nine in ten of us have up to £1,000-worth of unused items in our homes, while one in three has enough clutter to fill an average-sized bedroom, with a third of Britons still hanging on to VHS and tape cassettes. Women tend to feel guilty about ditching clutter, while men become nostalgic when having a clear-out.

found in Saga magazine


Every time I start clearing the clutter and manage to fill a box or two, I get sidetracked and leave the rest for another day. By which time the clutter has grown.

A Serious Enquiry

This may sound silly, but I want to know whether I should keep my eyes open or closed when I kiss my boyfriend. Most of the time my boyfriend has his eyes closed and I don’t know what to do myself.

Letter in the Daily Mirror
from ‘This England’.

Two plump,

bouncy thirteen year-olds walked past just as I was going into the Health Shop , today .
"My mother's mad about all that healthy eating "
"Yeah", said friend sagely , "They get like that after a certain age ".

                 ...............................................................

I have a new favourite Dutch  word :  Jazzzangeressen  .
No , nothing to do with bumblebees . It means women jazz singers . But I think , whatever it means , it just looks wonderful  .
What's yours ( in any language or , better still , dialect ) ?

Some Can ... And Some Probably Shouldn't .

With anyone who is Anyone in the cycling world taking part in the Giro d'Italia ( a more exciting version of the Tour de France with more accidents and prettier scenery )  , it's not surprising that any cyclists you do see locally , at the moment , are just being our usual amateur selves

Like the young man approaching yesterday , pedalling briskly , as he chatted on his mobile and picked his nose . Yes, he fell off . Luckily , he managed to remove his finger from his nostril just before he hit the ground ... Still , he was luckier than the young girl who'd gone over her handlebars as she was texting , while cycling past the library . She landed on her nose .
But any opportunity to feel superior vanished five minutes later as I fell foul of a cable someone had snaked across the bike path ... I can heartily recommend Arnica and hope the professionals can take it , too .

Fine China?

Friko has a wonderful porcelain plate hiding in her photo on her blog, Friko's World . I've just found it! And it looks like this...

What a clever designer she is! Now all I hope is, that she will forgive my cheek for letting you see it too. :-)

Poor Tyler !

Look what I found in my mailbox on Sunday evening:


Tyler sent me the following:

Hi I'm a 21 year old male from California, and I'm only attracted to older women. I've never had sex with an older women, and I would like to. I don't know where to look, and I'm desperate. I'm on the shy side so meeting at bars aren't really my thing. I feel like i'm a pretty good looking guy, but i still have confidence problems. Do u have any advice on what I can do? By the way I think you're VERY cute. 
Casey from California, USA.

Sent from my iPhone


Poor boy. It would be such fun if hundreds of women/men replied to Casey/Tyler and gave him some advice. If only we could be bothered. Pity really, it would serve him right.

A poetry question

In James Taylor's song, "Gaia," he uses a phrase that I thought he had borrowed from Keats, but now I can't find any attribution other than to Mr. Taylor. The full song's lyrics are here.

Here's the story. A few years ago I assembled photographs on snapfish.com to have calendars made up, and went in search of quotations to use as captions. I found "the petal sky and the rosy dawn," a quote that I recall as having been attributed to Keats, and used it as a caption for one of my [many] sky pictures. This morning I thought to go looking for the rest of the poem and I can find no "petal sky/rosy dawn" other than in "Gaia."

I'm sure that there is some one among the readers and writers here who can help me with this Sunday morning wonder question.

And They Think They Can Save The Planet

 Politicians on the other side of the pond are no different from ours.
If you’ve seen this, have another giggle, it’s free.
If you haven’t, read and despair, then giggle.



Washington, DC airline reservation agent offers some examples of why their country is in trouble:


1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go 

to Cape town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape town is in Massachusetts.''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape town is in Africa ''

His response -- click.


3. A senior Vermont Congressman  called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!’’


4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.''

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.’’


6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week she needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.



7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. Is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.



8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?’’



9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.’’



10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D)
Called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!’’


11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!’’


12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''

The reply, ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.’’


Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US; ARE IN POLITICS,AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED..

Seats For The Senses

I can't really think of anything to add ... their slogan says it all . ( I must apologise . As always , I seem to be lowering the tone .... )

Urban Lions

Cycling down the road to the Do-It-Yourself shop , I glanced left just in time to see a couple of lions coming purposefully towards me

... not quite what you expect when you're off to buy some sandpaper and a packet of cup hooks in a small provincial town in Holland .

Thaw ?

Could somebody please confirm that icicles mean thaw?

Snow on the roof turning mushy, 

water forms in droplets,

runs down the tiles into the gutter.

The leaky gutter

drips

drops

which turn heavier and heavier with the frost of darkness,

forming icicles.

Logical?

Offended

Followers?

We have not posted here since Nov 21 last year and we are still getting new followers. Strange or what?
Has the site run its course? What do you think, cooks?