Well, I never! Things you can learn from Daytime TV

A woman on a day-time TV antiques show, picking up a metal ring with regularly spaced peaks, says:

“This reminds me of King Alfred’s crown”. (Alfred the Great was king of Wessex from 871-899)

In an aside to the professional dealer who accompanies each team, she says, very audibly, making sure the TV audience doesn’t miss it: “I am descended from Royalty, you know.”

“Really,” says the antiques dealer, “go on then, give.”

“Well,” says the woman, “King Henry VIII (King of England 1509-1547) was my great-grandmother’s brother .” She is deadly serious about her statement and nods earnestly.

The antiques dealer doesn’t bat an eyelid and, as smooth as oil, purrs “You’ve worn well, then.”

King Alfred’s crown turns out to be a kitchen appliance for hanging things on.

Use It Or Lose It

Crosswords are supposed to be excellent exercise for the brain and I've been doing one every day for years ... for fun , I hasten to add.
Then why , given my blogging name , did it take me so long to solve this clue ?
"Some reason a tango is just for one or two players ?" ( 6)
Got it yet ? This might help ...
"Some reason a tango is just for one or two players ? "
Perhaps if I upped it to two crosswords a day ?

Through the wringer

This is inspired by an article about Taylor Swift, which contains the following:

So Taylor Swift may not be dealing with hampering toils of life — coming up with rent or job hunting in this economy like the rest of us — but where amore and being a mega-star is concerned, she has been through the ringer.

A person hasn't been "through the ringer." He or she has been "through the wringer." Probably younger people don't know what a wringer is. Here's a picture of what the phrase means, from Sleep and Salami.

When I was four or five I was helping my mother do the laundry (except we called it "doing the wash") and when I poked something into the wringer and my little hand followed the article of clothing right through. Having had that experience, it annoys me to see "through the ringer," as if there were something bell-like about it. 

This Autumn's Culinary Must Have

You thought your Batterie de Cuisine was complete ? Think again . I bet you haven't got a vegetable sharpener like this one ,

featured in the Style section of this week's Saturday supplement .
Though for catering on a grand scale something along the lines of a teacher's mechanical pencil sharpener might be better .

Frustration

Internet very slow these past several days: about the same speed as Morse code tapped out by an amateur but more frustrating. I maintain that it's the solid mat of very pale gray clouds in the sky that's hindering Verizon's wireless performance.

Angus paces, paces, waiting for Husband to return to make his life whole and happy. Husband is away for a few days; the dog might wear a path in the floorboards before his return.

For two months I have happily forsaken most of all the tasty foods that I hitherto enjoyed to excess. Danish pastries with lemon-flavored cream cheese filling, chocolate of any description, ice cream melting into viscous puddles of richness beneath microwave-warmed caramel topping. I am due to have blood drawn this week for a Friday visit to the doctor. And this week I am nearly powerless to sustain my grip on what passes, in my life, for healthy eating. Let me remember this lesson, and have the blood drawn ten days prior to the doctor appointment, when I am still strong against my sins.

It's that Time of Year again

 Spider in the Bath

Spider Expelled

Are they particularly dozy at this time of year?

This monster let me pick it up this morning

and carry it (dangling from a couple of sheets of loo paper) to the window.

It sat on the window sill for quite a while before

it scuttled off.

No Comment

Having just been wondering about the beard inhibitor in the old advertisement , I was amused to see today's cover on my newspaper's Saturday supplement .
(Anne Claire De Breij's wonderful photo , one of several for an article about people who enter their pets in shows . )