Short And Sweet ?!

Fairy Dumbass heard the Moon had no sole, and decide to provide one...Pity her spelling was not as good as her spells.

This was in reply to the Stony River Microfiction Monday prompt #72.

Twinkle Fish

I took some trash out the other night and saw that someone had just now tossed their Christmas tree. Weird enough. But as I got closer I noticed something dangling from it. And not just one ornament had been left:



I'll resist the urge to editorialize (although it's nearly killing me), but since Fridge Soup is an international collective some of you may be interested to know that Christmas in Florida includes all the decorative trappings found everywhere else: images of Santa Claus, snow, angels, reindeer and - did I mention snow? But this being a place of ocean and sunshine other elements are sometimes thrown into the mix.

Peculiar World Records

 Anyone can establish a World Record.  To become the World Record Holder - at least temporarily - do something really strange and register it.

Here is a selection, video by YouTube.

01.Smiling                               Record: 7 Hours

02. Head butting Watermelons   Record: 40 Melons in 1 Minute

03. Under Water TV Watching   Record: 114 Divers

04. Tallest Hair                        Record: 6 Feet(1.82 Meters)

05. Teeth Coconut Husking        Record: 3 in A minute

06. Longest Finger Nails          Record: 4.8 Feet (1.48 Meters)

07. Loudest Burp                      Record: 110 Decibels

08. Biggest Turban                   Record: 1312 Feet of Cloth

09. Hairiest Ears                       Record: 0.3 Feet (10.2 CM)

10. Longest Milk Squirt With Eye   Record: 9.1 Feet (2.79 Meters)

Google will find many more, I'm sure.
Fridge Soupers with nothing better to do on a Saturday morning might suggest a few of their own.
How about "Quickest solution of Rubik Cube whilst wearing boxing gloves"

Bruce Springsteen - Streets Of Philadelphia

A dozen random thoughts

1. Sometimes, usually on Mondays, I think the Uniform Monday Holiday Act is one of the greatest favors my federal government ever did for me.
2. This winter hasn't been so bad. I just guaranteed a major, major spell of bad weather before it's over.
3. If you should ever have a toenailectomy ask for nonstick dressing.
4. Snow, falling or grounded, is more breathtaking when going out into it is optional.
5. I check my email at least 80% more often than is necessary.
6. I have received some gifts that I treasure although I have never made use of them. A beautiful blank-paged book covered in silky, vibrant colors and a quill pen are among them.
7. It never fails that I build up the wood fire and don a fleece top within the same hour, and then sweat until the fire dies down. I rarely change that one article of clothing.
8. Chocolate covered strawberries should be stored in the refrigerator and brought to room temperature before eating. 
9. A temporary facial tic, near one's eye, for example, is never so apparent to other people as it feels from the inside.
10. The novels that I read affect how I conduct my life. Yesterday I read the last page of Gap Creek and mopped all the downstairs floors. I should read more books that detail hard work and an accepting attitude toward it.
11. I am glad I began using moisturizer around my eyes in my twenties, long before I needed it.
12. One should never climb up a stool or ladder to see how dirty the tops of tall things are unless one is also prepared to undertake the cleaning of those surfaces.

Reasons for Mortality

During the week which ended on the 17th Feb. in 1719, the following diseases and conditions (among others) proved fatal to the inhabitants of London.

Aged  49

Chrisoms  1

Colick  2

Consumption  50

Convulsions  139

Dropsie  28

The King's Evil  2

Fever  51

The French Pox  2

Gout  1

Griping in the Guts  20

Headmouldshot  2

Jaundies  3

The Imposthume  2

Mortification  2

Rising in the Lights  5

The Small Pox  55

Sore Leg  1

Stoppage in the Stomach  5

Suddenly  4

Of their Teeth  43

Thrush  1

The Tissick  8

Twisting in the Guts  2

Tympany  1

Worms  1

Executed  4

                         

One Less Thing To Worry About

Since I've been under strict orders to reduce my cholesterol intake , I read the labels on everything .

Given a return to "icy conditions" forecast for next week , I stocked up again and was pleased to see that my new supply of salt to put on the footpath is fat-free . No carbohydrate or protein either .

Such a relief .