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Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Recipe for fridge soup

Fridge Soup


One fridge
Herbs and spices
Salt and pepper
Fresh chicken stock
A very very big pan
A very very big spoon
Garlic croutons


Put pan on cooker.  (Phone osteopath for appointment.)  Fetch ladder.  Climb ladder with fridge.  Put fridge in pan.  (Phone osteopath back and bring appointment forward.)   Climb down.  Climb up again holding herbs, spices, salt and pepper.  Climb down again to pick up herbs, spices, salt and pepper from floor.  (Phone neighbour for assistance.)  With neighbour holding ladder, climb up again and add herbs, spices, salt and pepper to pan.  Climb down again.  (Phone doctor for vertigo check-up.)  Climb up again with jug of chicken stock.  Pour into pan.   Look at chicken stock to find it barely covers bottom of pan.  Fetch hosepipe from garden.  Fix to tap.  Climb ladder with hosepipe.  Add sixty-three pints of water to pan.  Climb down to fetch very very big spoon.  Climb back up ladder with spoon.  Climb back down.  Fix ladder extension to enable access to pan with spoon from higher up.  Climb back up.  Climb back down, wearing ceiling tile round neck.  Ask neighbour to help you extract ceiling tile from neck.  Climb up again to top of ladder.  Stir soup.  Climb down again.  Leave soup to simmer until fridge is cooked* to your liking, then garnish with parsley and garlic croutons before serving.

*Results may vary.