I am glad to see that, for the moment at least, contributions to this site have gone back to their normal, upright and clean status. I'd like to continue the good work and give you a poem which describes a country walk perfectly.
I went into the countryside for a walk
and took some bread for the ducks
and my camera to take photographs.
As I carefully shut the farm gate
the old bull said "Leave that open
Missus. I want to see that
heifer next door - last time she had a headache.'
I went to the pond and threw bread to the ducks -
'Stuff your Mother's Pride', they said,
'We wants worms.'
I put up my camera to take a picture of a nest,
and the birds said 'God damn that voyeur,
let's crap on her lenses.'
I sat down for my picnic.
There was a little hedgehog nearby,
I undid my thermos and poured him some milk.
And the hedgehog said, 'Keep your filthy
cow-muck. I haven't got stomach ulcers.
What I want is your pin-cushion for a dildo.'